Everything

I only have three finals to go until THE END OF SCHOOL. But I believe the more important date would be Hannah's arrival. Five days to go until I am reunited with the most wonderful person to ever walk the earth. (I'm not talking about Matt Smith--but he's a close second). I suppose I shouldn't get too excited until Tuesday 3:00 p.m., but fuck the rules, let me have my moment of joy. Although I'm terribly sad to not return to Cheley, the vicissitude makes it more special. After reading The Interestings I have become more aware of the innocence felt when at camp. The "naive" notion that everything is possible when immured within mountains. Although the author makes an interesting point (see what I did there?) I don't think that feeling comes from naivety. I think it is the unobstructed mentality of someone not yet plagued with the actual naivety that comes from becoming an adult. The naivety of being overly judgemental and frankly, confining to easily to the rules of society. People assume teenagers are the ones trying to fit in, but I see it as the adults. Enough for now.

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You can't repeat the past

Somehow I have this vision that if I wait long enough, everything will turn out the way I want it to. As if time will build everything into the perfect life I've envisioned for myself. Like Lillie pointed out earlier in her blog, I can't spend the present waiting for the future. Thing will not be worked out for themselves. I even feel stupid as I write this. It doesn't seem like my life is messed up. It doesn't seem like I have anything to mourn. But I keep waiting for something to happen that will make waking up in the morning happy. I am holding on right now to the hope that something is waiting for me in my future. It's late, and I know I'm just babbling mindlessly, but I don't want to spend my whole high school career in anticipation for college, and then disappoint myself with reality. I guess I need to get to bed now.

WHY OF COURSE YOU CAN